Accepting the Diagnosis

The first time I heard the word cerebral palsy was from the Chief of NICU at the hospital Jordan was born at. I was confused because I couldn't think of anyone or anything associated with cp except for Jerry Lewis. I had so many questions but found myself listening and absorbing all this new information. It was scary and overwhelming and I felt that I was out of my comfort zone as I thought I knew it all. I remember walking through the doors of St. Agnes Children's Rehabilitation in White Plains, NY for the first time and feeling overwhelmed and shocked by what my eyes saw.

There were children without limbs, children in support devices that I'd never seen; surely we were in the wrong place! When the time came for me to ask questions, my first question was "how long does she have to be here?" It wasn't that I did not believe there were issues to address concerning Jordan's physical limitations; I just did not feel that she should be there for an extensive period of time. Notice I said "feel" and not believe? Because what I felt, was far from the fact of the matter which was Jordan was similar if not the same as many of the other children at St. Agnes.

My faith in God granted me permission to ask him to heal my daughter and I lived off that hope that her healing would make her whole, her healing would give her the use of her limbs. I was praying, fasting, asking people to intercede for me, but nothing PHYSICALLY changed.

Once I began to notice that this condition wasn't going anywhere, and that I couldn't camouflage it with wittiness was when I realized that God heard my request and it wasn't Jordan who needed healing but myself. It was then when I began to submit to the issue and allow the tears to flow as I accepted cerebral palsy into my life.

Accepting what is not the "norm" or different is a daunting task for individuals who have lived a "normal" life and it comes as a shock to their system of beliefs. Shame, pride, and denial all become the factors that can keep you from seeing the bigger picture before you. But I am here for you to let you know that this pattern of thought can only lead to destruction and the hindrance of the child's progression and success with their disability. Your child holds the lock, but you and his or hers team of professionals hold the key. And acceptance is the first tool to better understand your child's condition by seeking the appropriate resources connected to their condition. You are not alone because I stand with you. If God's plan speaks life, then you will succeed. It may not sound good what the professionals are telling you, it may not even feel good for you nor your loved one but it is for your good. Don't deny your child the assistance they need to maximize their growth. A change will come and not just for them, but for you too! Take care till next time.