"You were Created for Victory"- Pastor Michel White-Haynes

Pastor Michel White-Haynes, Pastor of Greater Faith Temple Church of the Living God in the Bronx, NY is someone who has known me since I've been in my mother's womb. She too is disabled being born with one arm. However, her reflection shows nothing that she has been through. An inspiration to many; I listened as she delivered an inspirational testimony telling her congregation that they were created for victory and immediately felt the need to recriprocate what I received from that message to you.

When Jordan was born, all was well with her physical appearance. The complications of her premature birth was camouflaged by the stages of infancy. Because she had no "physical" deformities, I was able to not address the fact that she indeed was born with a disability. However, as she began to grow, the physical characteristics of cerebral palsy began to set in place. She developed strabismus in her right eye which caused her right eye to drift, but because it has not been consistent, she never required surgery. I often laugh when she is thinking hard about what you said or what she is going to say because the right eye is a tell sign. I can laugh about it now, but before it was no laughing matter. Because of the type of cerebral palsy that Jordan has, it prevented her from sitting up on her own, crawling on all fours without guidance, and inevitably not walking on her own with assistance, and this I could not hide. Next came the adaptive high chair/trip trap chair, the wheelchair, then the walker. The secret was out, my daughter was different!

In the beginning I pretended that it was okay, but deep down I was dealing with so many emotions that I didn't want to show. Eventually, I made a decision that if she was going to wear braces on her feet, I made sure the shoes were stylish and fashionable. I purchased her top of the line clothes, and her hair was done at all times. I made a decision that if this was what God had given me, then I was going to break all stereotypes of disabled persons and raise her to be phenomenal! I loved music, so I had her singing, eventually she developed a gift to hear a song one time and memorize the vocals and the instrumental. She knew the sound of the bass, the guitar, the organ, the piano, the violin, and the saxophone. When the doctors said she would have speech problems I began teaching her how to read, how to pronounce words, when she didn't get it right I made her do it over until she maximized her potential. I told her she was beautiful, smart, and wonderfully made. I refused to treat her different and challenged her to be better. I noticed that when sharing her disability with a stranger or someone I haven't seen for awhile I often heard them say, "I'm so sorry" and without I beat I'd reply, "Why? I'm not". If this was what God said, then I was going to have victory and success with her and with her special needs. When I fell, I picked myself up before anyone could see the dust. When I cried, it was in my secret place. And it wasn't because I was ashamed to show that I was human, but it was my way of coping with the task at hand.

It is a shock for a parent to know that their child will not run with the other kids and will have to do things different. But I always felt that I was different, so it came as no shock that God gave me a different child. And don't get me wrong, it hurt! But I refused to to fail, so I pushed past my ego and my pride and found strength in the gifts that he gave me and used them to bring out the greatness in my daughter that he already instilled. Sure I went through denial, regret, and embarrassment because I am human and I was being processed to let you know that there is success with special needs. Don't allow your special needs child circumstances determine your life, use it as tool to reinvent yourself! The disability will not disappear but what you do with it as a parent will determine victory and success for you child. So be different, I love it, and when you come to accept the task placed in your life that was no mistake you will begin to love it too!

Nothing comes easily, and we all have our own cross to bear. As Pastor said, "I was born for this" I concur! Because I was born for this, and Jordan was created for victory! Reach out and find someone to talk to if you need help accepting your child's condition. Wherever you may reside, there are resources available to you and your child to help you as you journey to victory. Take advantage of help; don't be stubborn they way I was thinking I could do it all LOL, trust me maybe not now, but you WILL need some help and it is okay! And remember, different does not mean denied. You can have success with your special needs child when you accept and know that both of you were created for victory! Thank you Pastor White for the inspiration and the confirmation!